Actually Overheard

By way of introducing this fact for the Nth time, I will reiterate that I have a management position in a department store.  This gives me all kinds of opportunities to overhear (or indeed, participate in) things I thought you might like to virtually hear:

Overheard from a fellow associate: "I'm still pissed at the French for wussing out over the whole Iraq thing - I mean, I just can't believe how wussy they are."

Female customer to other female customer: "I really don't think yellow's your color.  No, seriously, it makes you look - dead."

From a male customer I couldn't see:  "Dude, we went out like, five times before she was a lesbian.  Well, before I found out about it, anyway.  Maybe she still is, I don't know."

Confused male customer: "Do they sell shoes?  I don't know.  They got TVs and shit, and purses, and those - whaddyacallems?  Bras."

From another fellow associate: "Watch, watch.  See this guy here?  He's a panty sniffer.  Comes in all the time.  The grossest one of these was the guy jacking off in the lobby."

Printed sign, now disposed of by me: HURRICANE SUPPLIES - DO NOT TOUCH IN EMERGENCY

From an adjacent office, so presumably, someone I work with:   "...huge, fat, monsterous.  I just hate myself and all of them."

And my personal favorite:

Me, walking up to customer service desk, addressing two new teenage girls who now work there: "Hi, I cut my finger - I need a band-aid from the first aid kit.  It's - it's under the phone there.  Big red cross on it."

Girl 1: "Wow.  You're like, the third person today to cut your finger."

Me:  "Yeah, I heard that.  Three more and we can summon a demon."

Both girls, in unison: "Really?"

Comments

[Jesse]

Oh, G! You crack my shit up! And to think, I've spent all this time practicing rolling my eyes backwards to look at my brain so I can summon a Golem. All I needed was five other clumsy people and a knife.

Best thing I've ovrheard this week:

(Student says to other student as they walk by the teacher's lounge)

"That's the one place we can't never go...the teachers keep all their sanity in there - and candy!"

[Brandi]

Something I overheard yesterday:
"I don't know of any medication that will stop him from talking about gangs."

My thoughts on this:
Although I do understand what the doctor who said this meant... I'd still have to disagree. There are numerous medications that would stop someone from talking about gangs, or anything else for that matter, if given at the appropriate dosage.

[Jubilation]

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[Greg]

Hey, that response is whacked, but not, i guess, unusual for the teenage culture to respond. Guess you get to overhear alot in that shopping world.